Image by Mohamed Hassan

Seven mental and emotional health tips from my heart

“How can I stay positive?” is a question I get asked occasionally at work. It’s something I think about more than I sometimes care to admit.

My standard answer was: “I’ve learned from other leaders that it’s better to look at the bright side in life.” Under today’s challenges, however, this answer now has a hollow ring.

Some background: I’m a Colombian immigrant. While in my 30’s I moved with my young family to Canada while learning English and starting a new life from scratch. 12 years later, after getting our feet under us, new opportunities moved us internationally once again (this time to the US) which felt like a start over again in some ways. So, believe me, I understand the emotional impact of trying to survive in a very competitive business atmosphere while dealing with personal circumstances. I understand failure doesn’t seem to be an option when you are trying to give your best and achieve bigger dreams.

My point is, I also experience moments of uncertainty, loss, stress, and thoughts of hopelessness. That’s why I want to share seven practices that have aided me when resisting mental and emotional exhaustion, injury, and breakdown. My noble purpose is that they’ll also help you get through a difficult period.

1. Stop overworking. It’s not worth it. I’m saying this to myself right now. To give your best to reach your next level does not mean that you have to sacrifice your health, your love for yourself, and especially the time and attention your loved ones need and deserve from you.
2. Practice task-free activities during your day. You need a way to decompress to stay healthy. Something as simple as going for a walk is a good start. Nature is a great healer; enjoy the sunlight, drink a cup of water, ignore your phone, breathe the fresh air. Or take a cold shower, meditate, call a friend. Small things like these go a long way to recover from overload.
3. Stop comparing yourself negatively with others. In the perfect universe, the achievements and qualities of others are only inspiring and help us see new horizons. But if we’re not careful, all too often they can drag us down. Try to remind yourself that your circumstances and life are unique and special. Focus your energy on designing your personalized journey, one that is truly yours and is not comparison-based. This need not be a chore; it can be fun and, dare I say, it can even be a stress reliever.
4. Make failure your ally. I like to think our level of fear and anxiety from making mistakes is relative to the number of experiments we try. When we make learning our goal, the outcome will always be positive. “The one who falls and gets up is stronger than the one who never tried.” — Paulo Coelho
5. Reach out. Connections matter, reconnections even more so. I like to talk to my wife or my mom to share all the ups and downs in my life. Talking to a friendly voice, one that can fully listen to you is a self-healing act that can bring you back to a place of stability, control, and honesty within yourself.
6. Listen to others (flip side of #5). Pay it forward. It’s easy to perceive the act of listening, of serving others, as yet another task to add to our all-too-long to-do lists. But, hear me out. When someone you care for is talking to you, breathe in, relax. Allow yourself to be completely present in the moment. Listen deeply, listen fully. You might find this “present-ness” helps you develop and channel your own empathy for others, and you might see your worries in the proper perspective. I’m always amazed of how helping others can help yourself.
7. Embrace a gratitude mindset. Every day, I try to recognize the small wins and notice the little positive things people do. I find this act helps me lower my stress level. But the funny thing about good moments is that the mind tends to discard them and instead holds tightly onto risk of failure. To combat the negative voice inside your head, make an effort to remember those positive things that happen to you by writing them down. Sticky notes allover my desk with gratitude notes could my ultimate secret weapon :)

We are all humans. We’re all trying to figure this journey out. Remind yourself that you are not alone — and PLEASE take care of yourself. Ask for help if you need it; there is no shame — we are all in the same boat and we are stronger together. We can always make our future brighter. Go to http://Mentalhealth.gov for some other ways to handle these challenging times.

Thanks to my friend Dave Carson for the copy edits.